new.years.kiss.
you are small compared to me.
Pale and dream like
On new years
I wanted to kiss you
Kiss you like the lost love of my past life
i am not blaming you for your shyness
“do you remember when i led you by your hand
and you let your hand slip away
and i felt your soft silken skin slide?”
I was, half drunk, fully exposed
Naked; clothed
Vulnerable ; out in the open
You were immaculate, angel scented
You smelled like girl
Girl of my dreams
the one that I think of when I’m drunk and hopeless
Which happens often, intoxicated september through december
Sometimes it feels like I never stopped drinking
I want to stop drinking
if only when i thought of her i didn’t need it
I want to think of you
but I know it’s impossible
I know life is improbable
And distance would kill us
But I just wish I could have told you
How good you smelled
How beautiful you looked to my ugly eyes
